Walking Target
2007-07-07 04:11:32
I thought this was great and deserves a place here also...
How to make the perfect Frag-vid
1. Use Fraps (no matter how good the frags are, it must be recorded using the most basic of programs in order to keep the quality as bad as possible)
2. You can't bhop, don't even jump. (Any hint of actual skill would have the viewer's head explode upon seeing it.)
3. hud_quickinfo 1 (because we need those huge brackets covering 1/4 of the screen)
4. Fast weapon switch must be off (as indicated by #2, and because we need to see your throught patterns and you frantically scroll through your weapon table.)
5. 1-2 map maximum (simply because we're tired of variaty, we must watch the same frags over and over again on the same map)
6. Re-use same frags (it wouldn't hurt us if we had seen the same frag again and again, and just because we can do it ourselves IN-GAME, doesnt mean we don't get the satisfaction of watching it)
7. Post it on Youtube (well how else are you going to have the luxury of having viewers tell you how good you are through blatant comments and smileys)
8. Have at least one good person killed (of course this honestly means you dominate them, just because they lead with a 5-0 kdr doesn't mean they're better, record a barrel in the face courtesy of you along with many other frags in your video, garrenteed you owned him)
9. Remember, just because they're <AFK> doesn't mean they're not pwnable, use that crowbar! (and for bonuses, spray over their mangled corpse)
10. Orbs are your key to victory (a minimum of 20 will suffice)
11. Always crouch when you have the xbow and stay in corners (this also entitles you to label your frag vid name as "the Camper killer")
12. Killbox air pwnage is a must (not saying they're bad, but we need a minimun of 10 clips)
13. Variaty is for losers, just because 64 other people have posted the exact same thing on youtube doesn't mean you can't
14. as indicated by #1, you also need to have the large fraps logo tatooed on the front, because we need more things to cover up your screen & we also need to know your not a cheap gamer that wouldn't waste the time to buy the program but instead use the trial version.
15. Slow motion (ALWAYS a must, it doesn't matter what you slow down, Quantity over quality, as every frag you have in your arsenal can and should be brought down to 1/2 speed)
16. From #14, you should always show the youtube crowd by daringly using Windows Movie Maker, the program itself is easy to use so jump straight into it by having your screen name in blue background at the beginning of your video.
17. As from before, be sure to include MANY random transitions to blue screens with either "LOL" or "ROFL" wording, to further humiliate those pwned in your video.
18. With your ass kicking video half way done, you need to pick a music selection, this usually consists of either, very heavy metal, or rap. Nothing else to show any similarity from your vid and the next one on the youtube list.
19. Music tracks to select from (Drowning Pool - Bodies, is the all time favorite, simply because it fits so well with a millions of bloody rag-doll corpses "falling" in your video, if a must when the phrase "1 nothing wrong with me, 2 nothing wrong with me, 3 nothing wrong with me" enters, switch clips simultaniously to match the lyrics)
20. Or at all, pick any song from the screamo genre, because we must never know what the singer is saying while watching recycled frags (not a genre put-down)
21. End your video abruptly, because as your viewer, we need no closure. Your here to show what you have, not baby the viewer into a nice sophisticated beginning & ending video.
22. If at all you have the few critics doing what they do best, leave your mind in all absense of reason and counter him with any of the following "lol w/e nub" "I pwn you so stfu" "wanna 1v1, ill be at [server ip] and I own you noob".
23. P.S in video content, be sure you have any game exploits imaginable. You saw the same thing done on another video posted on youtube, so recreate it and put a second (or third) right next to it.
24. If your already part of a clan, be sure you have many "We own so hard" wordings that randomly pop-up in your video, not titling the video as "sex related" but showing that your clan is far superior from the standings of your frags. (see [BGC] clan video for more info)
25. More along weapon choice
SMG: a must, this weapon must be used at all times and consumer the entire video if need be.
Pulse Rifle: an indication of skill and must be used rarely
Grenades: If at all you chose to "grenade cook" be sure to have fast weapon switch off and the grenade must be rolled.
RPG: With any video, this weapon clearly shows you dominate all,like the smg this weapon should cover half the video.
Xbow: Only shoot people coming at you, you should never see a strafe xbow kill. This also adds with a pin factor. Meaning that if you had pinned a bloody corpse to a wall, re-play the frag in slow motion.
